Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Randomize
