Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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