i can't believe i had my finger in that
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
