I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
