Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
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