After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
