He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize