im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
