Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
