google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
