I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
