I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize