The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
