i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We had sex on a dog bed..
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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