I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
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To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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