Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
