I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
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It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
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remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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