I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
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Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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