think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
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When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
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I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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