so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
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i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
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Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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