the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
