I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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