My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
