He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?