JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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