this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
