he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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