we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
