My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Let's paint friendship bongs
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
