I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
