you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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