put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize