You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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