u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize