I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I miss vodka workout Fridays
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
