This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
