Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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