Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
