Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
