Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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