Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
