isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
