i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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