Heybabeimwearingurpanties
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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