Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
