i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He? As in you personified your dick?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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