Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
