So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize