I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
