i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
