Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
