Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
