All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize