ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
