Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
