I just pynch a tree in the face
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I think weed is turning my hair brown
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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