yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
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I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
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I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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