First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
