my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
